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Missy La La has done fine the 25 minute ride in and has been pretty good this morning so I wasn't expecting anything crazy. I guess I should have been more prepared.
As soon as we walked into the store she started screaming. I tried to put her in the cart. She started screaming louder, not only screaming but trying to jump out of the cart. OMG ~ right in front of the door. I figured it's 10:30 am on a Monday morning there won't be that many people in the store, so we should be all right.
I kind of got her in the cart ~ still screaming and just start going about my shopping like absolutely nothing is wrong. Everyone is staring. I'm getting slightly irritated, I really only needed a couple things.
At this point I debated about just leaving, or trying to get through the trip. I really needed/wanted the things I was coming to get and it's another 25 minutes home and back to get them later, so I decided the only one being punished if we left was me, so I decided to tough it out.
As she just about threw herself over the edge of the cart I pulled her out and set her on the floor. She's continuing to scream at this point. This poor elderly lady in the aisle just turned around and walked away.
She is quite a site to see, this adorable little blond hair girl, fists clenched, stomping her feet, screaming so loud her face is turning a lovely shade of lilac.
I told her I was going to go ahead and do the shopping, if she wanted to stay there and scream she was welcomed to, but I was going to go ahead and go. If she wanted she could hold on to the side of the cart and come along with me.
She grabbed the side of the cart ~ and it was then I realized my mistake.
To get her a little more exercise (read wear her but out so she'll take a nap) I've been letting her walk next to the cart as long as she holds on. We usually do that at Walmart ~ and I hadn't even thought about her doing it when we walked in.
She was pissed I hadn't let her walk with the cart. Dang.
So she was pretty good the rest of the way through the shopping trip (10 minutes). Then we had to leave the cart and the store and it all started over again. This time she wouldn't give me her hand or let me pick her up.
I had a flashback of parents I've seen grab their kids arm and remember thinking OMG that's no way to treat a child. They shouldn't do that. Well here I am walking out of the grocery store and into the parking lot grabbing my child's arm. She pulled her arm out of the sleeve of her coat, so I ended up only being able to grab her sleeve, and pull her toward the car.
I draw the line for allowing her just to work her way through her tantrum at doing it in the middle of the parking lot where she can get hit by a car.
We finally get to the car. I say get in the car. She looks at me and screams NO. There's something about her screaming no at me that really pushes my buttons. I know it's the whole AUTHORITY ~ I'M THE MOM THAT'S WHY thing and I am working on it.
I finally got her in the car seat ~ thank God she didn't put up much of a fight because I was starting to get a little pissed myself.
We started driving out of town, and I love what happened next.
This is just more proof that the universe conspires in my favor, no matter what. Her favorite song came on the radio. I don't know if you know Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani, but Missy La La LOVES that song. She does all the hoo hoos in the beginning and hums along. It changes her mood every time. hmmmm... I really should get that CD :)
So she is now happily humming along to Gwen, then one of my favorite songs came on and I was happily humming along to it, and the grocery store incident is forgotten.
OR IS IT?
Is mommy holding a gudge? Now Missy La La wants a snack. She wants some chips. Mommy does remember the whole grocery store incident and doesn't think after throwing such a fit and embarrassing mommy La La should get chips.
However, if Mommy looks at things objectively ~ she knows La La doesn't even remember the whole incident and was not doing it to mortify her mother. She was just trying to be heard and express her wishes, in the best way she currently knows how.
Mommy thinks she will compromise. She will let La La have apple for snack, but will give her a couple chips with lunch.
These grocery store meltdowns are getting fewer and farther in between. That just means they catch me even more off guard when they do happen. If you are the parent of a spirited child I'm sure you've had your fair share of meltdowns. How are you handling them? What are you doing? Is there a particular school of thought you follow to manage your spirited toddler's behavior? If so I'd love to hear it, leave a comment below. :)
Until next time ~ Oh jeez, the dog's growling, gotta go.
1 comment:
I just found you and your life is like listening to me tell stories of my own. I am a real estate agent and full time student, and the kids go to daycare 2 days a week (except in July, daycare is closed. HELP ME!), but the rest of the time I work from home with them. My son will be 3 this month, but your grocery store story really hit home.
Just the other day I was in a local store and the fit throwing commenced. Some old guy comes tearing across the store to tell me that I need to learn to control my kid and that I should just take him out of the store RIGHT NOW, because that would teach him a lesson. Here I am, crazy haired, trying to deal with my 3 year old while my 1 year old is copying his screaming, and I just looked up and said "What lesson, that if he throws a fit he wins and we will leave the store????" I got a really nasty look and he stormed off. But I was mortified.
Sometimes bribery works. I wlil keep a sucker or something similar in my purse, and I let my son see that it is there before we enter the store, saying "If you are a good boy through the whole store, you can have this when we are all done". Sometimes I might have to give him the occassional gentle reminder, but otherwise he is pretty good.
I'm anxious to keep reading your posts - I really can relate.
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