Finding "Adult time" with a Spirited Toddler

So today's Sunday. Usually Sunday during nap time is when I get a little "daddy time" if you know what I mean ;).

Anyhow, today things got in the way and we didn't manage to get together right after she fell asleep. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as we got upstairs she starts screaming.

I went in her room and laid down next to her, put my hand on her back, just hoping (scratch that praying) she'd just go back to sleep. Just this once ~ ha ha.

No such luck. She was wide eyed and bushy tailed. I brought her into our room hoping maybe she'd lay down on our bed and fall asleep, then we could sneak off somewhere else. NOPE. Not in the cards today. Hopefully I can stay awake long enough to get her to sleep tonight, and maybe spend some time with my hubby afterwards. :)

This has just been one of those "spirited toddler" days. She's whiny, screamy and just all around inconsolable. Flying off the handle over miniscule things. Throwing herself on the floor for reasons unknown to us. Sometimes a change of scenery helps so we decided to get out of the house. We went to the playground. She went down the slide gleefully a couple times, then more people showed up and she started to withdraw a little.

Sometimes as a parent I grieve my ideal of parenthood, and my anticipations of raising my child.

Today I watched a pregnant mom pushing her toddler son on a swing. Pushing him so high, him squealing with laughter, giggling. She was laughing. It made me a little sad.

My husband tried to put Missy La La in the swing again, just to see. NO good. SCREAMING, flailing, throwing herself against the side of the swing. Bummer.

I love to swing, and I was so looking forward to bringing my daughter to the playground and swinging on the swings with her, laughing, giggling, sharing the experience.

It's just not always in the cards to be able to "share the experience" with this little one. There's just so many experiences she's not willing to experience.

I'm assuming this may change as she gets older, and maybe it won't. But I think it's important to give myself a moment, recognize that as a loss, and let myself have a second to grieve for what I really thought it would be.

Then the moment's over ~ back to the slide. Down she goes screaming "weeeee" all the way.

Until next time.